


Metanoia. (James Potter)

by blackscanary



Series: Iris Castle [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23112001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackscanary/pseuds/blackscanary
Summary: The Castle Family were a long line of Pure-Blood Slytherins. They painted a beautiful picture, as bold and brazen as they were. Perfect in each other's eyes. Then one day, a stain came and left an imperfect mark. In the sea of similarity, an outcast was created. Iris Castle grew to be distrusting and spiteful, a cold beauty wrapped up in quite the striking package. To grow used to the idea of being the most admired and loathed person in the room. A survivor.When she walked in a room, she walked like her mother. If only it were as simple as looking the part. While Iris was a survivor, her mother was a warrior. Daphne Castle was someone that never hesitated, who always acted on her dark nature. But, unlike her mother, Iris was not dark. She was a predator. Dangerous and feared. But her mother? She was deadly. And where her mother painted green, Iris left streaks of blue.
Relationships: James Potter/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Iris Castle [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979713
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48
Collections: Marauders Era





	1. Prologue

Iris Castle was very proper for a girl her age. She never spoke out of turn and wasn't one to fidget and divert the focus of conversation. This mostly had to do with her parents', who were older in age; they grew close to their fifties while Iris only reached eleven years old. They were also pure-blood extremists and held themselves in a way that made it seem as if their life was well kept—an idea they passed onto Iris quickly.

She walked behind her parents as they carried her trunk, Iris' head held high. Her gaze locked onto children that passed by, she watched as they quickly averted their eyes to the ground beneath them. Her attention lulled to her parents as they abruptly stopped and turned to face her.

"You'll do well" Daphne, her mother told Iris.

Iris nodded eagerly along to her words, her pride getting the better of her.

"You'll make us proud," Daphne explained, "a Slytherin, just like us," there was a slight pause, "if you need any help around, ask one of the Black girls, or that Sirius fellow, they'll help you pick out the wrong sort."

It wasn't long before Iris found herself alone on the train, as she walked along the hall to find an empty compartment. Her feet hesitated when her eyes fell upon a familiar shaggy haired boy, from the few events they both attended with their respected family. Her face grimaced at how he slouched in the seat, his hands tucked snug underneath his legs.

"It's Sirius, right?" She asked politely as she walked into the compartment. Her gaze locked intently on the wide eyes of the eleven year old boy in front of her. She watched the boy in front of her hesitate to speak up, his mouth slightly agape as he sat motionless. Her eyebrows furrowed, "did you forget your name or something?"

"No," he explained, "no, I just forgot yours." His words came out in a whisper, as if he were embarrassed to admit he couldn't fully remember the girl that stood in front of him.

"Iris Castle." She watched as Sirius held his hand out, her gaze quickly averted to the boy's big grey eyes before she walked to sit across from him. Perhaps it was due to the fact she was offended he didn't remember her when she took the effort to recall his name.

The pair sat in silence, the only sound heard in the quiet compartment was the slight lull of the train as it moved across the tracks. It wasn't long before a boy with square rimmed glasses and dark black, almost raven like, hair entered their compartment. Iris noted how unkempt he looked as he stumbled in. Her parents always taught her an appearance mattered most, that it didn't look good for the family if every hair wasn't neatly placed on her head.

"Mind if I sit here?" He asked, his eyes quickly glanced between the two.

"Sure," Sirius stated. He looked at Iris hastily when she made a noise of detest, as if he dared her to utter a complaint. She bit her tongue, Iris knew better than to complain when she was out numbered.

"My name is James Potter," the boy told the two as he situated himself next to Sirius.

"Sirius Black."

"Iris Castle."

She watched as James stayed silent, which she didn't blame him for. The two names were known in the Wizarding Community for the blood prejudice views they held—the names Castle and Black held power as well, since they were one of the few oldest wizard families that were still pure-blood. Potter, Iris noted, was also one of these names.

"Well, that sucks."

Iris rolled her eyes when Sirius agreed with James' words and the pair launched into conversation, she'd rather be stuck in her own thoughts than to converse with the boys that sat in front of her.

❀

It wasn't long before Iris found herself standing in front of the Great Hall, minutes away before she would be called to be sorted. Her mind was in a state of calm—perhaps that was the reason why she stood still, while the other eleven year olds seemed to fidget around her while Professor McGonagall gave them a speech. 

"Hey Iris," a voice whispered out beside her. She hastily snapped her attention to her side, to see a smug Sirius. "So," he started, "I'm going to assume Slytherin is the house you'll be in."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Iris didn't break eye contact with Sirius, the polite smile that was adorned on her features didn't falter when the boy laughed in her face. "Your parents wouldn't be happy to hear you think that, you know."

Sirius seemed to sober up the instant his parents were mentioned, Iris watched as he rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner—a set jaw replaced the gleeful look he had just a few moments ago. It seemed the Black Family wasn't as perfect as they let on in public, their own heir seemed to not hold any pride for his last name. "I don't fancy the idea of becoming like my parents—guess we can't say the same for you, right?"

"What's wrong with being like my mother? She's well respected—"

"Scary," Sirius interrupted, "everyone is scared of her."

The words didn't have much time to process, as the group of first years followed McGonagall into the Great Hall. Iris walked up with a frown etched in her features, Sirius' words seemed to sit with her heavily. The girl always had an unwavering respect for her mother, she always seemed to get what she wanted. However, she never believed her to be scary—that could just be because she's never seen that side of her mother. Iris looked at the floor beneath her, her head felt heavy as her mind flowed quickly. 

Iris barely had time to process the people in her year being sorted—the loud cheering were the only thing to snap her out of her thoughts. However, when Sirius' name was called upon, her focus was clear as she stared intently at the boy. Only a few moments had passed when the hat called out "Gryffindor!" He had a bright smile as he walked to the table, not seeming unsettled about the news like she believed he would be. As much as it bother her, she didn't have time to fret, as her name was called quickly after. Iris could feel all the eyes in the room on her, the silence deafening while the hat was place on her head.

" _Your last name holds importance, a long line of powerful witches and wizards came with the same last name before you."_ Iris knew about them, her pride of her family made her seek out the history of her ancestors. She wondered how many of them were feared. " _Fear in exchange for power seems like a worthy trade, does it not?"_ Iris never saw the appeal of being feared by her peers. " _But do you seek power?"_ Power always had some sort of admiration about it and if given, she would take it. However, Iris never seemed to be the person to openly seek it out. In the stories she was told growing up, the character that goes mad for power always ends with nothing.

Iris felt disbelief as these thoughts raced through her head, she knew her mother would be disappointed in her for openly disregarding power. Daphne Castle was always one to seek for it, something she taught Iris to do early on. As much as the eleven year old believed it, this was not her. It was her mother who influenced any words or actions of hers at that moment in time. Her natural reaction to everything was held back, given a moment to think on before acted out. In hope to get her mother's approval, to play the part of the Castle heir. " _You aren't as much alike as your mother as you think, dear... This may do you good, more than you realize... Give yourself a chance to act on your own....."_

"...Ravenclaw!"

For a moment, Iris believed she heard wrong. It wasn't until she noticed the table, one that wasn't Slytherin, clapped at the announcement did she start to feel sick to her stomach. She sat frozen on the stool—the eleven year old was stuck in her thoughts until Professor McGonagall placed a light hand on her shoulder that Iris took a shaky step towards the Ravenclaw Table. On her way over, her eyes landed on Sirius, who seemed just as worried as she felt. Perhaps it was because he knew how bad it looked, or he knew how her parents would react to the news of her being placed in Ravenclaw. Once she sat down at the table, Iris laid her head in her hands, mostly to hide the hot tears that rolled down her face.

She was disappointed. The shocked feeling of her being placed into Ravenclaw hadn't wavered—the idea of her being in Slytherin had been introduced to Iris at such a young age, that she hadn't thought of what would happen if she were placed in any other house. The shock simmered into fear at the thought of her mother. Daphne Castle was the type to get angry when things didn't go as she planned them, Iris could only imagine how she would react to the news. What she didn't know, was how much this one action left a strain in her mother and her relationship.


	2. 01

Since the sorting, Iris felt the unspoken tension in the Castle's home. Their expectations grew, to show she was still the perfect heir after just missing being a Slytherin. This made the youngest Castle do whatever it took to please her mother—she excelled at school, fighting for top marks between her peers and using a lot of her spare time to study. She even went as far as to use her mother's opinion forming friendships. Daphne seemed to look for any of Iris' actions that seemed out of line, and her daughter wanted to avoid the disapproving looks at all cost. Even if that meant making friends with people who Iris much rather avoid. They weren't all terrible, Narcissa Black was tolerable even on her worst days. However, now that Narcissa had finished her seventh year and wasn't returning to Hogwarts, Iris was left with her acquaintances. Staying on the "right path" made her tolerable enough for Daphne to acknowledge Iris' actions, as short as the conversations were, and that meant she was doing something right.

Iris found herself at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, listening to the conversation her parents had as they walked in front of her. "I'm glad we never had to go that far with Iris, Merlin knows how terrible it would look to disown our only child." Her attention peaked at her father's words, wondering who they could possibly be talking about.

"Iris knows better than to misbehave." Daphne's tone set off a warning in Iris, like her mother knew that she was eavesdropping on the conversation they held. "Iris, dear?"

"Yes?"

"With Narcissa now out of Hogwarts, Walburga asked if you could look out for Regulus during your last two years at school."

"Why can't Sirius look after his own brother?" Iris asked. There was a small, tense silence that met with Iris' words, and it made her wish she just agreed to Daphne's words rather than question them.

"While it's none of your business," Daphne hissed out quietly, "Sirius got disowned from the Black Family over the summer. If the boy is smart enough, he would stay away from his younger brother." Daphne stopped abruptly and turned to Iris, "so, you will look after him." She said in a tone that was more forceful than a suggestion.

"I will."

"Good, we'll see you over winter break."

Iris nodded along to her mother's words, knowing better than to expect a hug goodbye. Her trunk was gripped tightly in her hand as she made her way through the crowd, wanting nothing more than to get on the train and decompress before school. Watching her step around her mother was exhausting. She was constantly taking in information, a hesitant pause before she acted how her mother expected. As she walked towards the train, her eyes fell onto James Potter, who was in the middle of hugging his father goodbye. Iris diverted her gaze away with a sneer, ignoring the sense of jealousy that flowed through her at the sight of the healthy relationship he held with his parents. She shook her head, a weak attempt to shake the thought away as she boarded onto the train. Her thoughts shifted to look for an empty compartment, hopefully finding Regulus along the way.

Gratefully, when Iris reached the middle of the train, she found Regulus in a compartment by himself, just settling into a seat. She opened the sliding door slowly, greeting him with a smile as he turned to look at her. "Hey, Regulus." Despite the uncertainty of how Regulus would react, Iris' voice came out stern—an attempt to keep up her unwavering demeanor.

"Hey, Iris."

Just like that, the conversation was over and they fell into a silence. Iris focused her attention in a book, lazily reading the words off the pages as Regulus focused his attention on the moving objects outside the window. The only sound heard between the two came from the light chatter outside of their compartment. It was comfortable, until a few of Regulus' friends barged in loudly, the calm environment now restless.

She excused herself quickly, making an excuse about changing into her uniform before the bathrooms were crowded. Iris let out a low sigh when the compartment door clicked behind her, the shouting of the younger boys still heard through the thick glass door. As she made her way towards the bathrooms, Iris let out huff at the greeting of a familiar voice.

"What, I leave for two months and they decide to marry you off to my younger brother?" Iris watched as Sirius nudged James, laughing at his own joke. "It's pathetic how they try so hard to stay in the good graces of other pure-bloods."

"Because they are continuing their lives without you around?" Iris spoke slowly, a delicate eyebrow raised as she feigned confusion. She let out a soft hum, "it's more pathetic to think they'd stop everything just because you ashamed them one too many times—"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

Iris' expression melted into a smirk when she was met with Sirius' cold demeanor, his amused smile replaced with a deep frown. "You know nothing about my life either," she told him quickly, "so why don't we both stop acting like we know everything and not assume?" Sirius merely grumbled in response, "as lovely as this chat was..."

She didn't bother to continue, turning on her heel and returning her journey to the bathroom. It was nice to get a rise out of Sirius, especially when it took only a few words to do so. The pair had constantly played the cat and mouse game growing up. Iris learned to keep her demeanor calm and unwavered, since Sirius mostly spoke to her to get a reaction from her usual poised self.

❀

Iris fell into the seat beside Regulus with a frustrated huff. The week of classes were loaded with talk of NEWTs approaching and how they needed to focus now or else they'd fall behind. The professors seemed worried for a test that was over a year away, and gave what felt like twice the usual workload. She was already given an essay for potions due in the next few weeks, which she had no idea how to start.

Luckily, the week would soon be over once the sun fell and Iris would have two days to recollect herself and catch up on her curriculum. Right now, she needed to focus getting through the rest of the day.

"You look like shit." Regulus noted, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Long day," she mumbled out. Iris let out a frustrated sigh, "I have an essay in Charms and guess who my partner is?"

"James Potter?" Regulus suggested.

"Yeah," she started off slowly, "how did you know that?"

Regulus nodded his head in the direction behind Iris, noticeably biting back an amused smile. She turned her head and saw James walking towards the Slytherin Table with a set jaw, his gaze locked on Iris until he was beside her.

"We need to talk," he told her in a low whisper.

"Oh, finally realized you were madly in love with me and wanted to ask me to the first Hogsmeade Trip?" Iris asked dismissively, her eyes still on the plates of food in front of her. "What should I have for lunch?" Her attetion flickered up to Regulus, holding a sense of amusement as she tugged James along.

"The turkey is pretty good today," Regulus told her, quickly jumping in.

"You reckon?" Iris let out a hum, "I was just going to have some pudding, what do you think, Potter?"

"Can we talk about our essay?" James fumed out, "I don't really care what you want for lunch." Iris simply chuckled in response.

"You might want to talk about it before he murders you." Regulus leaned in as he spoke, whispering as if James wouldn't be able to hear his words. The other boy simply let out a huff of annoyance.

"I suppose so," Iris sighed out. She turned her focus back to James, "what do you want to talk about?"

"You stalked off before we could even talk about the essay," he explained, "like where do you want to work on the essay?"

"The library, obviously." She continued with an amused shake of her head, "I'd rather not spend my free time in the Gryffindor Common Room."

"Okay, when?"

"I can do after dinner during the week," she told him. Iris raised her eyebrows once James shook his head in response, "what do you have better things to do?"

"Actually, yeah I have practice."

She let out a scoff at the way his tone gave off a sense like he believed she should've known this about him. "Sorry I must've forgot to make a note to know everything about your personal life."

"Can we just figure this out? I have better things to do than talk to you." He muttered the words quickly, a glare directed towards Iris because of her bitter rebuttal.

"Then why don't you tell when you're free," she coldly responded.

"Sunday mornings."

Iris held back her frustrated sigh. She should've known the project was going to be difficult the moment she found out she was partnered with James. If Iris could argue the choice of day, she would, but since James was on the quidditch team it was practically the only day that worked for the both of them.

"Ten o'clock, no later." She spoke in a sense that her word was final, that James had no more say than what day they were to work together. He responded with a noise of understanding, not being bothered enough to use his words before he stalked off from the table.

Her attention shifted back to Regulus, whose amused gaze was already on her. "Ten galleons says you murder him not even ten minutes in." Iris rolled her eyes despite the chuckle that fell from her lips, shoving the younger boy playfully. The tension that James had caused was now gone as they launched into a conversation about their upcoming weekend.


	3. 02

The library was quiet in the early hours of the morning, most students felt the need to sleep in the day before classes started up again. However, Iris wasn't that lucky. As she walked into the quiet room, she winced at the sound of her books hitting the desk—it seemed to echo across the vast, empty room. Her attention shifted to the librarian who appeared to not notice, or just didn't care about the noise she had let off. Her nose still stuffed into the book that held her attention when Iris walked in.   
  
She let out a soft sigh as she pulled out her Potion's Essay, arriving early in hopes to get closer to being done the homework. The essay had the girl frustrated, quick to realize that the more she worked on it, the more it felt impossible to finish. Potions was usually the subject Iris had to work more to receive the same marks as her other classes, but it seemed harder than ever before. She couldn't keep count for the number of times she had already restarted the essay, taking every ounce of her energy to read the notes and paraphrase them in hopes she understood the content more. The more she wrote, the worse the essay seemed to be. It wasn't like she could ask for help, her pride made it impossible to even ask about the essay towards her peers.   
  
It didn't help that she wasn't well liked amongst her peers, who grew acquainted to the cold looks from Iris. Most saw Iris as a threat, dangerous and preparing to strike at any given moment. Which she was. She was constantly thinking, taking in any information she deemed useful. Her cold looks were a front for the persistent stream of thoughts that ran in her mind, always prepared for the worst outcome for it to never come unexpected. She had a reputation to uphold, and if that meant lingering gazes that were a mixture of fear and admiration towards her, Iris could handle it.

"Do you even sleep?" She jumped at the sudden interruption, closing her eyes to compose herself when James let out a soft chuckle. "I would say I didn't mean to scare you, but I'm kind of glad I did."   
  
Iris spoke as she shoved the essay back into her bag, "took you long enough to show." Her words were sharp despite the low tone that they came out in, a smirk graced her elegant features when James rolled his eyes. "Only five minutes late? That has to be a new record for you."   
  
"I had a long night, so excuse me for wanting to sleep in."

"Well," she started in a bored tone, "if you weren't so busy during the week maybe you would've been able to sleep in." The tension grew between them with each word spoken, both eager to drag the other with any chance given.   
  
She watched James' rebuttal died in his throat, his arrogant attitude seemingly melted away. He let out a low sigh, "are we really going to argue the entire time?"   
  
Iris let her tense shoulders fall. He had a point, if the two were going to argue constantly their grade would suffer because of it. Even if it was the last person she wanted to spend time with, she couldn't let that divert her focus on the reason they were together in the first place.  
  
"Can we just pretend to be friends while we're working on this?" He continued, his tone hesitant as he asked the question.   
  
"Friends would be a strong word," she told him, "we'll tolerate each other."

"You'll watch your mouth if I watch mine, understood." Iris watched James nod in agreement, moving from his seat to look around the library.  
  
He returned a few moments later, lying a handful of books in front of Iris. "Figured we could use today to get information we need before we start the essay itself." He suggested nonchalantly, shrugging along to his words, "if it isn't enough we grab more books next week."   
  
She nodded in agreement, reaching out for the textbook on top of the stack. Iris watched James grab another from the corner of her eye, before she shifted her focus in on the words on the page. The two fell silent, the only noise heard from the both of them was the sound of their quill scratching against parchment. It didn't feel uneasy as their attention shifted from book to parchment, if anything it felt comfortable. The last word Iris would think to use when describing a situation with James and her. They were in their own little bubble as they worked, the quiet side of James she never saw before. She didn't let herself dwell on it for too long, especially since it would cause her to fall behind in notes, something Iris would rather not hear him go on about.

It stayed like that for quite some time, sitting together as they jotted down notes, not registering how much time had passed until Iris subconsciously looked at her watch. She let out a noise of surprise when she checked again, hoping she read it wrong. She didn't. It now reached almost two in the afternoon, the pair had been in the library together for four hours without any realization.

"Maybe we should call it a day?" Iris suggested, placing the book down without waiting for a response.

With furrowed eyebrows, James pulled his sleeve up to reveal a watch of his own. If he was surprised about the time, he didn't show it. "Yeah," he finally agreed, "how do you want to go about this?"

Iris let out a soft hum as she thought to herself, staying quiet for a moment before she gave a response. "I guess just finish these? Go over our notes next Sunday and then try to find a new book." She spoke softly as she continued, "the whole point is to get as much information as possible, I guess we just read as many books as we can until we have to start writing the essay."

"Yeah that works," James spoke as he got from his seat. Iris took this as her queue to start packing her belongings away. She was excited to grab something to eat, waking up too early to want breakfast before their study session. They walked out of the library together, both seeming unsure of how to part ways.   
Suddenly, he stretched his hand out in front of Iris, who met him with a look of distaste. He chuckled out, "we're supposed to tolerate each other, remember?"

"That's only when we're working on our project." She stood there for a moment, before she took James' hand and shook it. Iris rolled her eyes when the boy gave her a sarcastic smile.

"Now, was that so bad?"

"It didn't cause me too much pain, if that's what you mean." Iris spoke with no hesitation, a pointed look sent towards James before she turned and walked away. Her mind raced as soon as he was out of sight, the good moment between the two seemed to catch her by surprise. However, she wasn't going to get ahead of herself. One good moment didn't change the many arguments the two had encountered in school together. They constantly were at each other's throats, throwing that aside as they worked on the essay together didn't change that.

A shiver coursed through her as she made her way down towards the dungeons, on her way to the Slytherin Common Room to see Regulus. Iris was always caught off guard by how cold their common room was—she was used to hers, which always stuck in sunlight. This made it hard to escape from the warmth and find a cold spot in the room, even more so when they had the fireplace ablazed. One of the good things about not being put in Slytherin, she supposed.   
Iris was quick to note the familiar stone wall she had to recite the password to, Regulus always kept her updated every time it changed so she could get in without him. This wasn't new, since Narcissa did it before she let Hogwarts. It was met with few complaints at first, but one look between the three of them and they died off as soon as they were mentioned.

Before she could mutter the password, a blur of curly black hair stormed past her. "Woah, Regulus, slow down!" Iris hastily called out as she attempted to catch up with him.   
"Where have you been?" She froze at the cold tone he used with her. Iris' features melted into a stony expression as she sent a warning glare at Regulus.

"I don't know who made you this mad, but it wasn't me," she told him slowly, "so don't take it out on me." She watched his angry expression melt away. Iris could tell he was still heated by the way he clenched his jaw every few passing moments. "Let's take a walk."   
"I'm not really in the mood for a walk," Regulus bit back.

She tugged on his shoulder lightly, "yeah but you need it." He tried to resist for a moment, but Iris looped her arm through his and pulled him away from the common room. They found themselves walking along the grounds. The air was more chilled than usual, reminding Iris that September would be over before she could appreciate the rest of the summer weather. Her attention quickly focused back towards Regulus, the curiosity ate away at her. She hadn't seen him react so strongly to something before and it made her wonder what could have happened.

"Are you going to talk about it?" She asked, her interest finally getting the best of her.

Regulus let out a frustrated sigh, all the tension he showed seemed to go away as his shoulders slumped in a troubled manner. "Sirius and I got into an argument... Now that I'm talking about it, I kind of feel like I overreacted."

"What happened?" Iris nudged him playfully as she spoke, "knowing your brother, your reaction probably fit the situation."

He let out a soft chuckle, "he does know how to tick people off." Iris leaned against the stone wall, her gaze locked onto him as he spoke, "he kept calling me "mommy's perfect little soldier" and it just ticked me off because it's his fault I had to be." Iris wasn't sure how to respond, so she simply nodded in agreement. Sirius and Regulus' consistent bickering caught her by surprise when she first met them, growing up as an only child she never had to compete for her parents' attention. One of the few times she was glad to be an only child. This constant competition between the siblings seemed to be the wedge in their relationship.

"You can't blame yourself for being the child he didn't want to be," Iris explained, "you both were raised the same way but chose different paths—he can't blame you for your mother forcing to act how she wanted him to."

"She never forced me to," Regulus retorted quickly. He sent a confused look towards Iris, "he just thinks because he didn't want to act that, some part of me has to feel the same." She bit back her response, nodding along to his words easily.

"Yeah, I guess he is in the wrong for that," Iris agreed, lying through her teeth. She could feel the tense silence grow between them. "Well," she started off, "I didn't murder James this morning, so I guess that's promising."   
Regulus laughed along with her words, the forceful change of subject seemed to go unnoticed, or overlooked by him. He swiftly launched into conversation about his day, but Iris barely focused on the words he spoke. Her mind was still on the events prior, James somehow unable to leave her mind. She wasn't sure what would come out of studying together, but she could tell it would be an interesting month.


End file.
